Thursday, December 6, 2007

My Junior Field Experience...with a lot of time to reflect.

I am a Theatre Education major. Will be certified to teach theatre K-12. I had my Junior Field during summer session 1 so to put it into perspective, it was the end of the year for these high school students. I was placed at the Middlesex County Vo-Tech in East Brunswick. They have a School for the Performing Arts which includes Theatre and Dance. The students spend half of the day only doing Theatre, and half of the day doing their required classes, such as English, Math, and History. I had the Sophomores and Juniors in the morning until 12, took a lunch break, then had the Freshman and Seniors in the afternoon till 2:30pm.
This program sets a higher standard for theatre students as opposed to a regular theatre class in a normal high school. These students breath, sleep, and eat theatre. I was a ore-k teacher for 6 years and absolutely loved it. But, since theatre is my passion, and I also define myself as an educator, I figured what could be better then to join the two. I've had many months to think about my experience; there are many pros and cons. I'll start by listing and explaining the cons first.

*My confidence level teaching theatre is not high at all. Teaching theatre and actually doing theatre are two completely different things. I still feel like I am learning so much new information, that even I haven't had the ability to let it sink in for myself. My students were used to learning on a college level from their teacher, and here I come in with only a fraction of the information that my cooperating teacher had. I was scared and unsure of myself. Nervous every time I taught the class. Although I had already taught for many years, I felt like a foreigner in a new land.

*I feel it is extremely important for any of our advisers to make an appropriate selection when it comes to our placement. The school as well as the cooperating teacher make a big difference. Although my cooperating teacher and I got along, she was the type of person that needed to be in control at all times. I don't think she allowed me to explore enough, and although she gave me great advice on theatre itself, I didn't get the help I needed to teach theatre.

*What a big difference age makes! Going from teaching 3, 4, and 5 year olds to teaching 14-18 year olds was the shock of a lifetime. I felt like I had to change my tone of voice and my attitude. It was equally bizarre for me because I have friends that just graduated from high school. It was difficult putting myself in the role of a teacher, when I feel like I am not that much older than them.

*When I started teaching the lessons, I felt guilty because I actually started to feel jealous of my students. I wanted to be involved in the lessons I was teaching, not be the one to teach them. When I taught the little ones, I felt like I was acting with them at all times. I did not get that feeling with my HS students. Maybe I'm selfish. I want to be the actress at all times. So if that is the case, then the answer would definitely be to have my Senior Field placement with much younger students.


I had let all this fester right up until the end of October. I had expressed my feelings to my friends, but never to my advisor. I probably should have. All these factors that I have bulleted led to my fear of next semester's Senior Field and an odd loathing for teaching. I decided I didn't want to be a BA in Theatre Ed anymore. Even with just a semester left until graduation, I decided I was going to switch to BFA in Theatre. This would have added an extra semester onto an already epic college career. I filled my mother in on the news, and as expected, she was angry. I was, however, afraid to talk to my advisor because I didn't want to disappoint her. I had half of the people in my life that I respect cheering me on, and the other half telling me just to stick with what I had. I flip-flopped back and forth for about a week and a half. I was terribly confused on what I should do. The last Monday of October, I had arranged to do an hour workshop on Shakespeare's Othello with a class of developmentally/emotionally challenged high school students in the Middlesex County area, who also happened to be seeing the Kean University's production (I was in it, and played Desdemona). I had already set in my head that I was switching to BFA. Something strange happened. I felt no stress about being watched or graded, I knew they knew a lot less than me. I went in there with the mindset that I was just going to have fun with these kids and leave them with something they didn't have before. Wow! What a success it was. The students loved it, I loved it, the teacher loved it. This is when I realized that I had to finally grow up, throw fear out the window, and do what I had to do. Finish something. It would be the smartest decision to graduate with a certification in Theatre. I will have a one up on a majority of the actors that are out in the business working as waiters.

There are many avenues of education for an actor. Theatre companies travel to schools to do in-school workshops, children and adults attend classes at the theater itself. I don't necessarily have to teach in a public school. And, this notion made me feel better about the whole situation.


So here I am, a BA in Theatre Education...ready and waiting for what's to come next.