VIGNETTE: Way Too Nice
Marianna was a vivacious student from Brazil. It was only the first week of school but already, all of her teachers had fallen in love with her. Though her English skills weren't very strong, she was a warm, friendly, obedient little girl. She always wore a smile and greeted all of her teachers with a great big hug. Marianna did exceptionally well at her elementary school and was later promoted to the sixth grade. She was really excited about attending the middle school. It was only her second year in the country and already she had heard from her friends how wonderful it would be to attend middle school. Just like in elementary school, her teachers all talked about her. But this time it wasn't the same. During lunch one day, her homeroom teacher asked the others what they thought of her and immediately they acknowledged her friendliness, but complained that she was somehow different from the other kids. She kissed and embraced her friends every morning and she even went as far as to try to hug some of them and would stand really close when asking a question or making a comment. The teachers just felt uncomfortable.A group of teachers decided to mention this problem to the administration before things went too far. After all, the State Department of Education Educator Code of Conduct states that teachers should avoid hugging or touching students in any way that could be misconstrued as sexual. The principal and her assistant heard the teachers' concerns and decided to have a conference with Marianna's parents. Did this group of teachers do the right thing?
Options
A. Yes, it is wise to always let the administration know what is going on.
B. No, the teachers who weren't comfortable should let Marianna know that her behavior is inappropriate.
C. No, they should have called her parents first.
D. Yes, but they should not get her parents involved - rather handle it themselves by talking to Marianna, the ESL teacher and/or a counselor.
Analysis
A. It is always wise to let the administration know what is going on. However, this situation can be resolved at a lower level.
B. This answer allows the teachers to be insensitive towards the child. To Marianna and members of her culture, there is absolutely nothing wrong with her behavior.
C. Her parents may not understand the grievances of the teachers as there is a strong possibility that they might not be proficient in English.
D. would be the best possible answer in this situation. It has been said that spatial distance in American culture is much greater than that of some Hispanic and European cultures. For example, Americans will engage in casual conversation standing 3-4 feet away, while Hispanics feel comfortable conversing only a foot apart. Americans tend not to touch one another while talking, whereas, this is commonplace in other cultures. A child only learns a culture when he or she is exposed to the culture or explicitly (yet kindly) told about cultural differences. The ESL teacher would be the best person to help Marianna adjust to the new culture.
I can strongly relate with Marianna because in the Hispanic culture we are very affectionate with people. This behavior is acceptable in my culture, but obviously it is not acceptable in the United States. When I first read this I did not understand what was wrong with Marianna’s behavior, but when I saw it from a teacher’s perspective I understood how her teachers may have felt, especially because they are not familiar with the her culture. Also, because by law teachers are not allow to touch or hug their students due to many incidents on the news about sexual harassment or sexual abuse in schools happening between teachers and students. I believe that the principal and the assistant principal do not need to have a conference with Marianna’s parents. I think having a talk with the ESL teacher and helping her transition to the customs in the United States is the best solution.
6 comments:
I do not perceive Marianna’s behavior as a problem; however it could be a problem if not handled properly (that is if her teachers let it go without addressing it with Marianna). As someone who grew up embracing those characteristics of her culture, Marianna did nothing wrong but tried to fit in and share her friendliness with her new friends. Giving a hug or a kiss to someone who a child considers their friend is completely normal and it would be hard to understand that some cultures view that as inappropriate. Her teachers should talk to her first without taking this matter to administrators or her parents. Inviting administrators and her parents blows this issue out of proportion. As a result of having her parents and the principal talk to her Marianna may start feeling ashamed altering her personality in order to fit in.
Just like Athena and choice D said, I feel that talking to the administration is a bit extreme as the first problem solver. The teacher’s should have met and discussed the issue with the ESL teacher and Marianna herself. This would have given Marianna a chance to explain why she gives hugs and is so friendly with everyone. Having a student like Marianna puts a teacher in a difficult position because teachers are not allowed to touch a students and this could absolutely be seen as an issue. This is why the teacher’s need to discuss the issue together and with Marianna without the involvement of the administration because that is blowing the situation out of hand. However, if the problem continued, then maybe the administrators would need to be called in.
This is a tough situation. While Marianna may have simply been expressing her feelings naturally the way she would have in her native country, in a foreign place gestures can sometimes be misconstrued. In class this past Tuesday we went over multiple examples of gestures or body language that in our country may seem harmless or friendly but in other countries was seen as insulting. Thus, I think that considering Marianna is from another country where this behavior may seem normal, the teachers could have spoken to her first, simply to get a better understanding of her perspective. Hearing what Marianna has to say could have shed some light on the situation for the teachers and possibly given them a solution without involving the administration or her parents. After speaking to Marianna, if they still considered her behavior to be a problem then they should have brought it to the administration and talked to her parents. I feel that to involve them so early on made this situation a bigger ordeal than necessary.
Before this situation became a problem, it seemed that Marianna was always like this and it was never a problem. She made lots of friends and her teachers loved her. They never had an issue with it. Maybe it’s more acceptable in Elementary school rather than Middle school; now that she’s older some people don’t see it as being appropriate. For two years hugging and kissing her friends was acceptable and now it’s not, this may confuse her.
If her middle school teachers are having a difficult time accepting it, I think D is the best answer, in the way of handling this situation: They should not get her parents involved - rather handle it themselves by talking to Marianna, the ESL teacher and/or a counselor. I do feel that whoever brings the issue up with Marianna needs to make her understand that not everyone is affectionate and as friendly like the way she is. It is important that children/adults from different countries become aware of what is acceptable in the American society. I'm not saying people from different countries should lose their traditions/culture, but they need to know what is appropriate in the American society and what is tolerated. As it was said some children and administration can hold this against Marianna and see it as sexual harassment and in order to protect the child it is important to address the issue.
I don't see Marianna's behavior as a problem, but four years ago I might not of felt the same way. Being an American and only knowing the lifestyle of Americans I can see why the teachers may of percieved this behavior as different. I don't agree that is is a problem but yes different to some.
I feel that the best solution would be to inform the ESL teacher and keep the administration and parents out of the loop. There is no need to inform them, its just a form of miss-communication between cultures.
After making friends with people of other cultures such as portugese and dominican, two extremely affectionate cultures, I realized this is just a matter of communicating to Marianna what is occuring. As a sixth grader Marianna probably has no idea that anything uncommon to her is happening.
Getting the administration and parents involved makes this so called problem on the same level of students fighting or cutting class. I think that would be too extreme for what is just a misunderstanding.
Marianna’s situation highlights the activity we had in class about gestures and postures and their significance from country to country.
Marianna’s social responses were accepted without objection in Elementary school. It is in Middle School, when adolescence is reached, that everyone becomes aware of Marianna’s behavior. Nothing changed but her age. She was accepted in school and admired for her politeness and friendliness. Marianna was an ELL student, she was taught English, but no one ever taught her the manners of her new social environment.
I believe that before calling the parents, the principal and her teachers should have had an understanding of other cultures, so they could have a knowledgeable and sensible conversation with Mariana and maybe later, if necessary, with her parents
Pilar
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